The Break Up

LAN Airline

I’m afraid I have some bad news. My surfboard and I are no longer an item.

Once I had handed all my baggage and surfboard over at the check-in for Chile’s LAN airline I was told that they wanted $180 just to take my surfboard to Tahiti. It is a frankly ridiculous amount for something that weighs 9Kg, and given I only paid $500 for the board there was no point paying to get it to the island (and of course a similar expense to get it off again.) I could buy a brand new board whilst here and then throw it away at the end of my stay and not be much worse off!

Broken Heart

When I bought my board I made it clear that we would not be together forever, and for some time now I knew a break up was coming but didn’t want to say anything in case things just worked out.

However I told the staff at the airport to take it off the plane because it was the right thing for me to do. They told me I needed to collect it from the offices downstairs, but I already had my boarding pass and there was no time for me to do anything with it other than just dumping it by a bin, and I didn’t have the heart to do that. Instead I chose to leave it at there office, almost jilting it at the altar, just when we were about to get into something special together here in Tahiti. 


So many cliches apply: It’s not you, it’s me; I’d like to stay friends; We’re just at very different points in our lives right now; I need my space; I’m just not ready for this kind of relationship; You deserve better than me; and I think we should see other people.

Given the option I would have preferred to have handed it over to a local grommet in a Big Wednesday style, ‘Perhaps one day it will be big enough for you to ride yourself,’ but I didn’t even get to say goodbye.

Sometimes a clean break is best though. However I think I am going to have to go out and find an ugly board for a surf to try and numb the pain. At least for a little while.volcano

As for the money grabbing bastards at LAN. A volcano is about to explode in their airspace, which will ground all of their aircraft due to the associated dust cloud. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-22684322

They will lose millions in lost revenue. It couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch, and their frantic work in their offices to remedy that situation will be further impeeded by a 7’10” trip hazard which is going to get in everybody’s way. I intend on indefinitely getting a little pleasure from that situation by continually promising to collect it tomorrow. There’s mud in your eye!




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