Around The World In 80 Waves

Having successfully traversed the lagoon with the car in a rowing boat I head for the border.

It doesn’t take long but hot doesn’t really cover it. The thermometer in the car was registering 46C at one stage.

I also saw this car which the local birds have clearly taken a disliking to.

I haven’t done much surfing in Guatemala but have had a great deal of fun anyway.

Getting across the border into El Salvador is the usual painful experience of hawkers, paperwork and queueing.

I got ambushed by one hawker 10 miles out who was on a motorbike riding alongside me trying to get money for assisting me through the border, and then had a bit of a sense of humour failure in the customs after being blanked for an hour at the front of the queue (not even a hello!) only for a lady who looked like a dead heat in a Zeppelin race to get served upon arrival. However I was served next and it is behind me now.

PS Congratulations to Wales on a great win in Cardiff. Now bring on the Aussies in the summer!

To get from Monterrico to the main road towards El Salvador you need to take a car ferry. You can see the Little Green Surf Machine here getting ready to perfect its backstroke!

I drove down the coast checking out a couple of potential surf spots along the way because a swell has definitely arrived, but annoyingly everywhere is just dumping on the beach.

However I stopped when I reached the lovely coastal town of Monterrico, which has a laid-back atmosphere that allows me to feel safe wandering about on my own for the first time in Guatemala.

The town is known for its volcanic black sand beach and the annual influx of sea turtles, but I went for a stroll to see if there was any chance of getting my board in the water.

Again the reality was that I would have broken my board, my neck or both in the very severe shore break so I didn’t go in. However I was cheered up immensely by bumping into a lovely Finnish girl, who you can just make out in the distance in this photo. We got chatting and I discover that she was just finishing a trip from Peru, which is the opposite way to my own adventures. I could barely pronounce her name let alone spell it so can’t enlighten you further, but I handed over the first of my business cards to a stranger and was most impressed by her ability to find a home for it despite sporting nothing more than a bikini! There was real chemistry between us and I’m thinking things are looking up, but I am gutted to discover she was going to Antigua in 10 minutes time, only to then fly home in the morning. Denied!

The encounter did put a skip in my step though because there is obviously life in the old dog yet!

I get myself settled in the hotel I chose that was a street back from the sand (www.hotelateliedelmar.com) It is the best place in town and is run by a lovely couple called Stig (who is another Finn) and his wife Violeta, both of whom make me feel very welcome. I decide to stay a couple of nights here but am heartbroken every 10 seconds throughout my stay because I can hear another big wave booming down on the shore a few hundred metres away. Guatemala just isn’t going to work for my surf aspirations and I think it is quite telling that Surfline, the USA surf forecast site, doesn’t even bother offering information for here. Never mind I will be pushing on to El Salvador later today and I know there are some all time breaks there.

For the rest of my time in town I enjoyed the wonderful hotel pool drinking enough of the local Gallo beer to float a battleship and chatting with the owners. My last night was fun too because a local Guatemalan called Paulo who works in Leeds back in the UK arrived at the hotel for a few days at the beach. This meant I had a drinking buddy who introduced me to a wonderful local seafood dish, and warned me about bumping into the legendary Cadejo (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cadejo) on the stumble back to the hotel!

No, I haven’t bought one before you ask. Although with the gun controls, and I use that term loosely, I could have done so over the counter in a supermarket in the USA.

The Gucci surf pad in Chulamar was bereft of supplies upon my arrival in the dark, so I needed to go shopping. The security people at thee compound insisted that a guard walk with me the two hundred metres in the dark to the shop. This resulted in the unusual situation of me stood in line for the shop trying to explain that I want whole milk to the man behind the counter, all the while with a bloke, who is 4’10” at best, stood right behind me with a silver pump action shotgun, which must have been over three feet long, brandishing it with menace at everybody else in the queue. Definitely a first!

There are plenty of armed guards all over Guatemala, and I came a little bit close for comfort to getting taken out by friendly fire two days later, when I somehow managed to sneak up on another guard without him noticing despite me wearing flip flops. When I appeared out of the darkness suddenly he made a sudden lunge for his shotgun. Fortunately his quick draw is not a quick as me yelling “Amigo, amigo, AMIGO!!!!” so I lived to write this update.

I made a complete mess of following the directions I had been given to the beach house in Chulamar, which resulted in me driving for about half an hour in the wrong direction. Using my solar navigation skills I didn’t think I was going in the right direction and kept asking locals if I was going the right way towards Chulamar. However I suspect hearing my awful Spanish was enough for most to just agree with anything I said so that they could carry on about their day regardless of accuracy, until I met a group of workmen at a crossroads who found my situation and Spanish very amusing. They did however point me in the right direction, which was back from whence I had come!

Unlike Guatemala City which has an eternal spring climate (albeit a hot one) it is unbelievably hot back at the coast and it got as high as 39.5C in the centre of Puerto San Jose when I drove through at 6pm. Thankfully it didn’t take me too long to find the house in Chulamar after that. I had to call the ambassador to get the security to allow me in, which is rather an excellent ace to have in your back pocket.

The house was gorgeous and has a seaside and lighthouse theme throughout which I loved. However it was a bit strange staying there because I had such a huge and lovely place all to myself.

I had a great night’s sleep and the following morning the gardener who as already working at 7amcut me down two fresh coconuts which I had for breakfast. In exchange I made him a brew, but I told him and the cleaner/cook to have a day off because it was only me there.

I went to check out the surf potential, but the waves were about 1 foot and breaking right on the shore so I spent a day mostly swimming and sleeping in a hammock, with a liberal sprinkling of beer thrown in for good measure.

The wave crave is getting unbearable again!

A quick word to wish the Welsh boys well in the 6 Nations Championship decider in Cardiff later today.

I will be listening to the game via BBC radio online here in Monterrico in Guatemala, having test run the functionality on Friday morning.

I believe the roof is going to be closed at the Millenium Stadium so with the Welsh in full voice it should be an epic encounter. England with grand Slam ambitions, Wales needing a 7 point victory to take the title, the final audition for a place on the British Lions’ tour of Australia (for which I have already bagged a ticket to one of the test matches – thanks Chris) and that glosses over the fact that the two teams playing have the biggest rivalry in the tournament with the most championships between them.

A game I cannot miss even on the other side of the world. I will be wearing my Rugby Gogledd Cymru top with pride, and generally shouting encouragement at my computer.

Feeeeeeeeeed me now and evermore, EVVVERMOOOOOORE!!!!!!!

Cymru am byth!

I have sorted out a new phone number for the next few weeks.

If you need to call or text me please use +502-5249-5779 until further notice.

My outstanding friend Neil has sorted out some business cards for me to hand out to all the people who are interested in my trip. It will be so much easier to hand one over than spelling out the webpage, especially because letters are pronounced differently everywhere I go.

Neil has done a wonderful job getting these produced back in the UK and sent them out to the Ambassador’s residence. They arrived just before I left for the coast in the diplomatic bag from the UK.

Dont you think they are fantastic? The small print on the back is a quote from Jules Verne that Neil thought was appropriate:

“The sea is everything. It covers seven tenths of the terrestrial globe. Its breath is pure and healthy. It is an immense desert, where man is never lonely, for he feels life stirring on all sides. The sea is only the embodiment of a supernatural and wonderful existence. It is nothing but love and emotion; it is the living infinite.”

I love them.

🙂

I have grown very fond of everything at the Ambassador’s Residence but this is supposed to be a surf trip and I am miles from any ocean, so with more than a bit of reluctance I must say goodbye to all things here and head back to the Pacific.

I went looking for some chocolates to give to all the ladies who have been looking after me so well, and was amused that the only thing I could find was Ferrero Rocher. The irony of which will probably be wasted on Carolina, Eusenia and Carmen, but I know they liked the gifts.

In particular I will miss:

1. Phil, Sarah, Amy and Rose whose company has been fantastic, and has allowed me to get back to my normal self before pushing on once more.
2. The toaster. Have you any idea idea how hard it is to make toast in a car? Marmite on bread isn’t the same.
3. English TV. I am so square eyed it isn’t true.
4. Ambassadorial luxuries such as the silverware and gold plated crockery.
5. The staff, who without exception have been brilliant and such good fun, despite the appaling Spanish I have been attempting to communicate with.
6. Being pampered. Doing my own cooking, laundry, and cleaning will be a shock to the system.
7. My Bed. It is huge, extremely comfortable and somehow gets made for me in the 30 seconds in which my back is ever turned.
8. The Beautiful grounds lovingly maintained by Chon and Leonardo.

However it isn’t all bad, because the Ambassador has sorted out a gratis luxury beach house to for me to stay in for a few days so that the re-acclimatisation process back to crusty surfer life is not too arduous. I will ease myself in slowly.

The little green surf machine had coped well with having a full compliment of passengers on its test run to the volcano and back, but there were a few little niggly things which were still playing up, so I spent most of the day to day sorting these out and giving the car a thorough clean.

One issue which has bugged me since buying the car was the electric window switch on the drivers door.  The entire switch was hanging out of the door panel because it had been broken by the previous owner. I did a quick run down to the VW dealership in town and bought a new housing for the switches confident that I could install it myself. However upon my return to the residence I discovered that my tools were too fat for the job, so had to borrow some of Her Majesty’s cutlery because the knives could slide into the space and undo the clipped in switches.

It wasn’t difficult to address using the silver cutlery and the window switch is now seated in the panel and working perfectly. I hope Her Majesty doesn’t mind.