Around The World In 80 Waves

It is the morning after the Shinjuku night before, but I have to get up at dawn. I have to travel all the way back out to the airport to hire a car because I wouldn’t have a hope in hell of finding a car hire shop anywhere else.

I also wouldn’t have a hope in hell of understanding anybody or being understood myself anywhere else.

Despite my lack of sleep and probable whiff of alcohol I collect this car and then have to figure out how to get back to the hostel in Tokyo so that I can collect my stuff.

I am given an awful demo of the Sat Nav system so spend ten minutes going the wrong way before pulling over and seeking the help of a pretty woman doing her shopping. Luckily she has a few words of English and I learn how to get to the hostel if nothing else.

After finding the hostel and loading all my gear I then navigate south across the city using only the sun i.e. keeping it in front of me at midday.

I am on a stretch of toll roads for ages, and wonder when the countryside will start, but it never does all the way down to Kamakura which is a small city by the coast. I keep following the same navigational ploy until finally I find a beach.

Fabian and I spent two hours route marching to the Shinjuku area from the ninja restaurant in Akasaka. We had thought this would be a leisurely half hour stroll, but it was miles and because it is so humid here we were practically delirious with thirst by the time we arrived.

I would hate to think of paying for the electricity bill for around here because everything is illuminated. However I have finally found an area which is at least lively.

We take a stroll through the streets lined with girly bars, brushing off all the attempts to get us into one before we stop at a normal bar and are inhaling a couple of beers.

A quick glance in the guide book whilst there tells us about Golden Gai, which is an area of drinking dens run by the Yakuza (Japanese mafia). It sounds like it will be worth checking out, so we do.

All of the establishments there would be full to bursting with just half a dozen people in them. Some are friendly and other not so much so. We got told we would have to pay 3,000 yen just to get into one because we didn’t speak Japanese.

We found a fantastic place where the locals were all singing Karaoke at the bar. It didn’t take much to talk me in to it and you see me here ruining California Girls by The Beach Boys.

Our route march across the city had cost us our drinking time here and because Japanese trains are ruthless in their efficiency we soon had to make tracks.

However that was not before Fabian had taken his turn on the microphone singing Winds of Change by The Scorpions, with myself and members of the Yakuza on backing harmonies and whistling.

The trains are very cheap but taxis are incredibly expensive so we didn’t want to get stung and had no energy left to walk after our earlier march in the heat. Leaving the Yakuza begging for more we literally had to run to ensure we caught the last train back across town. 

We laughed all the way back, not least at the number of Tokyo residents who manage to do a bit more than nod off on the train home.

Ninjas were Japan’s most feared warriors, employed by lords as assassins and spies they practised Ninjitsu or the art of stealth. It is believed they have honed their skills since the twelfth century.

With a bit of eavesdropping of my own at the hostel I have heard about a Ninja restaurant here in Tokyo, so I had to pay it a visit, making sure I dressed in black to fit in.

I have been joined on this quest by Fabian from Nuremburg in Germany and we take a few trains across town to Akasaka. With relative ease we find the restaurant, which appropriately is identified only by this sign against a blackened wall.

On the way in we need to completed the Ninja training path, which involves sneaking through trapdoors and summoning a drawbridge.

The training path brings you to this historical village set deep underground, where we are shown to our booth.

The Maitre’D then utters a phrase I thought I would never hear in my lifetime. “Your ninja will be with you shortly”.

The food was fantastic, but I can admit to being a little disappointed not to find turtle on the menu. Foie gras was served with crackers shaped like shuriken (throwing stars) and some soup was cooked in front of us in a bamboo dish using hot stones.

All the while the presentation was perfect, apart from them having forgotten to serve me my soup dish and only realising this as I was tucking into my dessert. I’m not sure why, but instead of just knocking it off my bill they sent a ninja out with the soup who stood menacingly over me until I had consumed it. 

All of which was rather intimidating, and as a result I can confirm that mushroom soup and ice cream do not mix well together!

However it is a great start to my last night in Tokyo, and having completed our training experience here are Fabian and I posing in ninjas stance in the village.

It is still early so we decide to see what other mischief we can find.

I am supposed to be surfing whilst on this trip so need to get out of Tokyo and back to the coast. However I was unaware prior to arriving here exactly how close the damaged reactors at Fukushima were to Tokyo itself.

It is less than two hundred miles away, which isn’t exactly next door, but is certainly giving me pause for thought about where on the pacific coast I should get into the water. Especially because of all the highly radioactive water leaks which have just been running into the ocean from the reactors, even within the last few weeks.

It may well be the opportunity I always wanted as a child to develop a super power of my own, but in the interest of my own longevity I think I will head south and see how I get on down there. The Toxic Anger wouldn’t be what I had in mind.

I do not know if I will get off the main island of Honshu due to time constraints, but hopefully I will find a break or two that can help me to make my surfboard glow in the dark.

It is time for some more sightseeing and I am joined on my travels by a French girl called Emilie, who is staying in the same hostel. Here she is putting on her most photogenic visage for the camera.

First up we head to a restaurant which has been recommended in the Asakusa area. We are shown to our miniature table and then offered green tea while we look at the menu.

The restaurant specialises in Tempura which is seafood fried in a crisp batter, but somehow we end up with a version soaked in soy sauce which is not really that pleasant, even if it is filling.

From there it is a short walk through the market streets to the Dembo-ji temple founded in the seventeenth century to enshrine a golden image of the goddess of mercy, Kannon.

The craftsmanship that has gone into the buildings is amazing, but the temple is somewhat overpowered by all the office and residential blocks which have been built up around it.

Next we take the metro across town to the Ginza area which is full of high end retail brands and Emilie has heard that there are art galleries in many of them. We visit the eight floor of the stunning Hermes building, whose walls are made of glass bricks where we see an exhibition entitled The Mattress and The Wardrobe.

One of the exhibits entails the two of us being asked to take our shoes off and then be shut into a darkened cupboard made of veneer thickness wood. Inside there is a distorted mirror and a chair, and on top of the cupboard is a paisley cushion with lots of rope threaded through it. I will never understand art!

A short walk from here are the manicured garden of Hibiya Koen, which were the first public gardens created in Tokyo.

Even in the drizzling rain it is an oasis of calm in a very busy city and a beautiful place to be.

Across the road is the start of the grounds of the Imperial Palace, which is home to Emporer Akihito. After the second world war it has become a largely ceremonial position, in much the same way as the British monarchy.

The palace is only open two days a year for the people to pay homage to the Emporer, and even then the public is only allowed a short way into the grounds. This view was the best vista that I saw while in the area.

The two of us were shattered by this stage and in need of a pick me up. we decided to head for Roppongi which is supposed to be a happening part of the city that is full of bars and clubs.

However like the Japanese themselves it was really quiet and we couldn’t hear any suggestion of night life whilst in the area. Eventually we stopped at an Italian restaurant which was at least full of people. However we were served the worst mojito I have ever tasted there and neither of us wanted to stick around and be disappointed with over priced food too, so we headed back across town for a few drinks back at the hostel.

Akihabara is known as Electric Town because of all the electrical and electronic goods which can be bought in the area.

It is also a centre for Anime and Manga fans in Tokyo. The graphic novels and cartoon adventures for a huge part of Japanese culture so the choices available are bewildering.

Walking around the are you cannot fail to notice the number of young women stood in the street dressed in French maid costumes, who are trying to entice customers into the Maid Cafes found here.

It is a particularly Japanese type of entertainment and I decide to check it out.

Due to my lack of any Japanese I can honestly say that I didn’t understand a word that was said to me from the second I was escorted into the place I visited, to the moment I emerged back on the street.

I had chosen the Maidreamin cafe and once escorted to my table gleaned enough from the menu that 2500 yen would get me a beer, some food and a few pictures, although of what I could not be sure. However it would have been strictly forbidden to take any of my own whilst in there.

Sat down with wide eyed wonder I watched the young girls doing dance routines more akin to Power Ranger style moves with more than just a hint of Hello Kitty thrown in for good measure as I ate the chicken placed in front of me. I was expected to learn a few moves myself, which I was expected to repeat with everybody else to generate more of an atmosphere in the cafe, which was only as big as an average lounge.

After sitting there for half an hour and nearing the end of my beer I was asked to join the girls on stage complete with the kitten ears that had been placed on my head as I walked in. My deal entitled me to the two pictures you see here to take home with me.

It is actually possible to buy albums so that you can collect pictures of all the girls rather like a Panini sticker album for football players or star wars films that I collected as a child. The bloke next to me had a worrying stack of them and was keen to improve on his burgeoning collection whilst visiting.

I am still at a loss to describe the experience which is not at all seedy, but to me at least felt rather creepy. The pictures may give you some idea of how baffled I was by it all.

A bit like Bill Murray’s character in the movie Lost in translation I am finding the whole process of being a Geijin in Tokyo somewhat baffling.

Communication is almost impossible for me unless the person I am speaking to has any grasp of English.

Even then making a simple purchase or responding to a basic question seems to be beyond myself and the other party at times.

It is no excuse for not diving into things while I am here though, so as usual when in a new city I decide to walk around on foot for a bit to get a better grasp of the lay of the land.

To get things started I head for the easiest landmark to find, which is known as the Sky Tree. It is a broadcasting, restaurant, and observation tower located in the Sumida area of the city.

It is easy to find because at 634 metres it is the tallest structure in Japan and the second tallest in the world behind the Burj Khalifa, so you just look up. It is very impressive but I don’t feel like visiting the viewing platforms today so can’t tell you what the view is like.

A short stroll along the bank of the Sumida-gawa river takes me to Ryogoku, which is the centre of the sumo universe.

It is where the Kokugikan sumo stadium you see here, many sumo stables and the chanko restaurants where the wrestlers dine can be found.

Until the beginning of the 20th century, sumo tournaments were held outdoors at shrines and temples but the big crowds demanded a permanent home. Sadly there are not any tournaments being held in the city while I am here so I will not get a chance to enjoy this very Japanese spectacle.

I walk around for a bit further but because my feet are killing me I seek the solace of a British style pub where I hope to at least be able to communicate. Whilst in there I have great chat with two blokes from Seattle called Keith & Spencer who are gearing up for their return home. They tell me I should really check out Akihabara, which is not too far away.

The first thing you notice walking around Tokyo is number of vending machines that are all over the place. I suspect you may actually struggle to more more than a hundred metres without passing one or more of them.

Japan has more than 5 million coin and card-operated machines. That’s about one vending machine for every 23 people, and more vending machines in Japan than people living in New Zealand! You can buy almost anything from the machines lining the streets. Beer, cars, used ladies underwear, live crabs, bags of eggs, Pringles, fried chicken, porn, cigarettes, and lettuce that is grown inside using artificial light. (Yes you did read it correctly about the underwear!)

The next thing I am aware of is the number of people wearing surgical masks. It varies at different times of the day but at any time there will always be somebody wearing one.

It makes you wonder if they know something that you don’t! However the air here doesn’t seem to be anything worse than I remember it being in London, so it seems a little excessive, bordering on Howard Hughes style behaviour.

The Japanese must be the most polite people I have ever met. As a rule any conversation is laced with bowing and more thankyous than the day after Christmas. 

There is a dignity about the way people handle themselves and the way they dress, so much so that even the punks are wearing ironed shirts. As well as being polite they are always so quiet. There is barely a murmur on the metro trains.

However you contrast this outward demeanour with a clear interest in deviant behaviour. There are signs all over the underground warning ladies about the men trying to take pictures up their skirts on the stairs and escalators. I’m no psychologist but perhaps all that repressed emotion boils out from time to time.

Walking around the street you will see plates of plastic food outside almost every restaurant.

They are lined up in cabinets on the wall or on stands outside the front door of the establishment.

It is a means of displaying the options open to diners, as well as the respective prices.

However it is the least appetising thing I have ever seen. I have the least sophisticated palate of anybody I know, but I actually find it off putting to imagine enjoying any meal I might eat, when the first suggestion of it is caked in hardened resin.

Finally I will mention that almost everything here is a shade too small for me.

I am not in the realms of Godzilla going on the rampage through the city, but doorways, entrances, toilets, seats on public transport, etc usually entail some form of limbo practise or contorting my body to try and fit in.

Japan is about twice as big as the British Isles, however most of it is covered in dense forest. This makes the cities incredibly densely populated, which results in things being piled on top of one another because there isn’t enough land to go around.

I am going to be here for the next 10 days and as usual will have nowhere near long enough to do the country justice. I’m hoping to at least get a flavour of life whilst here, as well as a couple of waves too.

I arrive at Tokyo first thing in the morning and straight away get a reality check about how big the language barrier will be here.

There are a few signs which explain things using the Latin alphabet, but most are in Japanese character form. The problem I have is that I have no idea what the signs might actually be for. E.g. Are they telling me the name of a street, that there is a sale on at a furniture shop or perhaps that this is an emergency exit?

I do manage to find my way from Narita airport into the centre of Tokyo, but due to my early arrival in the country I roll into town right in the middle of the morning rush hour.

I am already massively confused by everything here, but it is at least tiring and at worst painful trying to cross the city to my hostel in the morning rush hour. If you have ever seen images of the Tokyo underground I’m sure you will understand especially because I was carrying an 8’0″ surfboard as well as the rest of my baggage!

Japan has always been a sea faring nation and sea food still constitutes a huge portion of the people’s diet here.

There are several famous waves here. None more so than this picture by Katsushika Hokusai. I am looking forward to getting a very different slant on surf culture during my short stay here.

Of course the Japanese wave that everybody will know about was the tsunami which hit the east coast of the islands on 11th March 2011 following a massive earthquake off the coast.

The earthquake moved Honshu, which is the main island of Japan, 8 feet eastwards and shifted the Earth on its axis by approximately 15 cm. The resulting waves reached heights of up to 133 feet which travelled as far as 6 miles inland. 

Nearly 16,000 people were killed and another 2,500 are still listed as missing. 130,000 buildings totally collapsed, with a further 1,000,000 being badly damaged. It also caused severe structural damage to roads and railways as well as fires in many areas, and caused a dam to collapse. Not to forget the ongoing issues at Fukushima. I can’t really add anything jolly to brighten these statistics I’m afraid. Nor should I. 

Since arriving into this global centre of the surfing universe back in June I have seen more wildlife than Crocodile Dundee.

I have witnessed the British Lions get their first series win in sixteen years and the England and Wales Cricket Team retain The Ashes. Given the sporting powerhouse that Australia is, I couldn’t have timed that better if I tried

I have managed to increase the number of breaks I have surfed from 67 to 127 breaks in the last three and a half months, but will have barely scratched the surface of the number of waves that are available here.

However the sun has come down on my opportunity to bag any more though and I must pack up and leave the English speaking world for the last time until I get back to the UK.

Some last minute satellite navigation issues when my phone felt it best that my desired route should resemble a figure of eight as opposed to a straight line, didn’t stop me dropping off my hire car and getting to the airport on time.

Once there I am also amazed that Qantas don’t charge me a thing for my surfboard going all the way to Japan. I am speechless! It might actually be the first airline on this trip to treat me like they would like more of my business.

Sadly this airline highlight is somewhat tarnished because of a really annoying repetitive beeping for the first two hours of my flight, and me also being unable to drown it out because the sound on my entertainment unit being broken. Grrrr! 

It is an overnight flight though and before I know it I am looking out the window at the sun coming up over the Land of the Rising Sun.