Around The World In 80 Waves

Me finding the Ambassador’s residence was going to be almost impossible, so I had arranged to be met in the car park of the Tikal Futura Hotel and Miraflores shopping centre.  I had been given excellent directions to there by the embassy staff and found it easily enough. My mobile phone had packed up in the morning, (of course just when I would need it, Grrrr) so upon arrival I went in search of a pay phone to let them know I had arrived, and managed to get just enough details across in the few seconds I was allowed with the only coin I had in my wallet so that they could find me.

At least that is what I thought. Over two hours later I eventually met up with my escort because it turns out there are two car parks for these establishments. They were doing laps of one thinking how hard can it be to find a lime green VW Beetle with a surfboard on the roof, while I am sat in the other thinking the same thing. I couldn’t ring to find out what was going on because my phone wasn’t working, until I eventually had to persuade a maintenance man in the car park to let me use his phone to make contact and have him talk them in to me. Meanwhile they had been wondering if I had been abducted.

Upon arrival at the Ambassaor’s residence I am immediately challenged to a jumpers for goal posts football match with the staff. Although I am surf fit, I haven’t played football in nearly two years, or even been for a run since Central Park so nearly have a coronary and am melting in the heat.

Myself two bodyguards, a driver and the gardener got thrashed by the opposition. I wasn’t much use in front of goal, and our keeper had a shocker, but it was good to get to know everybody.

There is just enough time to have a refreshing beer before being driven into town in the Ambassador’s bomb-proof armoured car, complete with armed bodyguards, to go and see a Queen tribute act which has been laid on as part of British week back at the Tikal Futura Hotel, in their conference centre.

The tribute act hails from Argentina and are brilliant, basing their performance on Queen’s Wembley gig from the 80s. I like the rest of the 1000 strong crowd love it, but have the best seat in the house at the Ambassador’s table at the front of proceedings.

I am chuckling to myself when the sort of response I get from those around me to ‘Hi, what do you do for a living?’ is ‘I am the Minister for Trade with the European Union.’ This really isn’t your average surf trip!