Around The World In 80 Waves

In some kind of preemptive ‘hair of the dog that bit me’ effort I have been drinking Great White beer for the last few days, which I am hoping will be enough innoculation against the Men in Grey Suits. I set off driving south with my new learn to speak Spanish CDs blaring on stereo. I have a month to progress beyond the current extent of my Spanish – ‘cerveza por favor’

Kevin’s local break is Ocean Beach where the city meets the sea. While I decide how keen I am on being shark bait I watch the locals catching some awesome rides.

I have to get in and am encouraged by the dolphins or porpoises which are hanging around just outside of the break. They know much better than I do what is under the water so if they are comfortable then so am I (he lied!) It is quite a tough paddle out and I really notice my winter suit compared with surfing in shorts in Hawaii, but I get out despite having made the schoolboy error of not changing the wax on my board from warm to tropical water to the cold water wax needed here. However the wrong wax hardens in the water and the top of my board is like greased glass. I really have a nightmare and the thought of the angry fish that are about is doing nothing to settle my mind. Loads of pelicans fly through the break inches above the wave which is very mellow, unlike my surfing. I am slipping off the board every time I take off and then am getting whumped by the masive surf. Time and time again it happens until I have had enough.

It is my first blank of the trip and I get out when the sun goes down conscious that it is when the fish are feeding. The gorgeous sunset isn’t enough to lift my spirits so after buying some cold water wax I head for the British pub a little further down the coast. Five pints of Boddingtons later all is good with the world.

As ever I wake up early and realise that I am not flying out until after 9pm so have another full day to amuse myself before leaving the islands. The surf forecast for the south coast is pants but the North Shore is supposed to be huge so I decide to hire a car and try and get a picture of myself riding the huge waves on my new GoPro camera.

Easier said than done though because all the cars on the island are hired out. even the hooky hire dudes known as Rent-a-wreck dont have anything. Avis, Hertz, etc are all looking for nearly $300 a day for a Ford Ka or equivalent with a minimum 3 day hire. Using guile and cunning however I manage to lay my hands on a vehicle for $160 which in the circumstances is a right result, even if it smells decidedly dodgy and the transaction is all a bit cloak and dagger with cash payments etc.

Apart from trying to get myself killed on the North Shore for the sake of a glorious picture I am using the opportunity to do a complete lap of the island, and have my new room mate Neal from Saskatawan along with me in the front, as well as Manon and two Brazilian Girls she knows called Elluar and Isabela coming along for the ride in the back.

The scenery of course does not disappoint the others who havent got outside of Waikiki yet, and the waves everywhere on the North Coast are absolutely pumping. There is a massive crowd watching Pipeline as usual and one that is almost as big as that in the water around the break. As if the wave wasn’t hard enough you have to slalom your way through the flotsom. Not everybody manages that each time and the carnage is unbelievable. I also see the worst drop in I have ever seen in my life. One guy flying along in the tube only for another to blatantly drop 20 feet on top of him at about 45mph with the wave whumping both of them in the ensuing wipeout! Awful and that nobody was seriously hurt was a miracle. Surfer number 1 in this story had a few things to say to surfer number 2 you can rest assured however!

We opt for the edge of Hale’iwa lagoon which is sheltered from the monster waves breaking past the harbour and will be great for the girls who know nothing of surfing, but sadly the lifeguards will not allow any boards to be hired out due to the pumping surf. Denied we cant hire anywhere else and I cant leave everyone on the shore for two hours so I am not going to get a chance to take on huge North Shore waves on this trip after all. Never mind it might be  good thing for my own health and they will let us hire Stand Up Paddle (SUP) boards for a trip up the river that feeds the lagoon, where we can supposedly see loads of turtles as well as trying out the latest surfing craze where you have a huge board and a long canoe paddle to propel yourself.

We pay up, are in our swimwear (what little there is of the Brazilian bikinis) and good to go when Elluar goes back to the car one last time and locks the keys in the boot. #*$#%&#&£!!!!!! Not happy doesnt quite cover it.

If they weren’t so pretty I would go apoplectic. (Can you tell me which one you would forgive first?) However I am now stood only in my swim shorts with bare feet on a ticking clock for the car hire, missing my plane, another nights room rental, admin fees, etc where as the others have no rush at all to be back in Waikiki nor the grasp of the English language to deal with the situation effectively. Consequently I have to fall on my sword and tell the others to go out on the SUPs without me. They later say it is the best thing they have done on the island whereas I did not even get wet, instead spending the next hour in the steaming heat trying to persuade people in the surf shop to ring locksmiths for me on their mobiles, then trying to get the tradesmen out on Boxing day to release the keys. (To rub the salt in I can all the while see and hear the massive glorious surf that is the reason I hired the car crashing down on the reef, which is so close I can almost taste it, but never get near to.) Miraculously one locksmith does come out fairly quickly and has the keys in my hand in under an hour. I then have to swim out to the others who are over running on the hire of boards because they are seeing so many turtles and having such great time, to shepherd them back in to the beach so I can drive us the hour back to the south of the island hopefully returning the car on time and make it to my shuttle bus. Nail biting stuff but nothing I’m not used to and I get the car back with 85 seconds to spare to find the guy standing and tapping his feet outside the hire shop, which he has already closed up for the night!

A frantic and more than a bit frustrating end to a great stay, and I have an hour to enjoy a few beers and say my goodbyes to everyone before heading for the airport.

I have treated myself to one of the GoPro Hero cameras for Xmas. I installed it the previous evening and it is good to go on the nose of my board for this session. The waves are not epic by any means for this session, but are perfect for trialling this product. Manon and I enjoy posing for it in the sunshine as we wait for waves.

We paddle out at Waikiki to get ahead of the crowds but even at 7am minutes after the sun comes up there are already twenty surfers in the water including several wearing santa hats, including one fat bloke with a thick white beard and sunglasses who looks like he has just finished a big shift at work. Hmmmmmm, I wonder.

We have to wait about 10 minutes for each set to come through and it is at best waist high and the scramble to catch each one gets worse as each new surfer drags themselves out of bed and into the water.

Patience brings it own reward though and I bag a few small waves but take them for long rides with this being the best picture of the lot taken by the GoPro which snaps nearly 2500 during the session. I can see I will be spending a significant amount of time hitting the delete button to get rid of all the dross if I want to have any space left on my hard disk by the end of January.

 I was hoping for some great surf shots for me and for you to share, however what I wasn’t expecting was for the camera to capture how much it means to me. If you ever want to know why I go surfing. Check out these picture which say far more than I ever can about why I go.

I look look like I am having such a good time even in rubbish surf.

Proper stoked!!

It is Christmas Day and despite feeling more than a tad woolly after last night’s Cocktail marathon I am up early to give a surfing lesson to the rather amply chested Ricarda from Austria. I am a little wary after my last instruction efforts many years ago resulted in a hurried trip to casualty to have the young lady’s thumb manipulated back into its socket after it was dislocated by a knock from a loose board in the water.

In the end no medical assistance is needed throughout the session, but better swimwear might have been helpful for my new friend. In between instruction I catch a few rides on the very mediocre waves in front of the Royal Hawaiian Hotel using the 11 foot board that we have hired. It is really quite naff and completely overcrowded, but one bikini spilling filled session later I am thinking all my Christmases have come at once. Hang on it is actually Christmas Day of a year long surf session, and indeed they have! Wave 10. Wooo-Hooo!

😀

Duke Kahanamoku is a true surfing legend. He represented the USA in three olympics as a swimmer, winning gold medals in 1912 and 1920, and collected a  silver behind Johnny Weissmuller (Tarzan of the old black and white movies) in the games in between. He also went to subsequent games as a water polo player, and landed many parts in movies over a career of 40 years.

Later on he went on tours around the world like my own and is the single person responsible for introducing surfing to most of the planet, particularly Australia and as a consequence is widely regarded as the father of modern surfing. He was a fantastically skilled waterman, who before development trashed the breaks here in Honolulu he rode a single 35 foot wave a mile and a quarter in 1917, which would be hard enough to do now, let alone on the wooden boards he would have been riding.

Duke by the way is his name rather than a title, and he later went on to become the Sheriff of Honolulu. A position he held for about 30 years, and I also noticed yesterday that he was instrumental in establishing the war memorial at Pearl Harbour.

There is a statue of him on the beach at Waikiki and I give it the lei I was given at the Lu’au to say Mahalo (Thankyou in Hawaiian) for his gift to the world and in particular to me.

Respect is due. Enough said.

I had the opportunity to add wave 10 to my collection at both Honoli’i and Pohoika Beach Parks, but after such an epic start to the day I am no hurry to get in the water today and end up passing on both opportunities. Maybe seeing the attached was an omen that put me off. It certainly made me chuckle and I can’t imagine too many funeral directors can claim to be witty because it is such a sombre business. (Aparantly it is just the family name and no pun is intended.)

The former break was passed up due to a whole tree doing laps of the break around the peak, on which I see two blokes nearly impale themselves. The guy in the picture has just clattered in to it.

I meet an old friend for lunch. I first met Petra on a beach called La Torche in Brittany in 1996, and I’m delighted by the home cooked soup I am treated to when we catch up. She shows me round the beautiful guest house business she has developed since then. Another stunning place for people to stay which I can wholeheartedly recommend. (www.bnb-aloha.com)

Petra recommends Pohoika Beach Park to me but I swerve that too because the break was so busy due to it being the weekend and the start of Christmas holidays.

I decide to go in search of volcano activity instead.

The lady who runs the hostel recommends this break if I am a good surfer. After Haleiwa on Oahu I am not so sure that I am and it takes me a good while looking at the sets coming through before I man up and decide to paddle out. The break is just down the coast from the infamous break at Peahi known as ‘Jaws’ which you can see being surfed here. I don’t know who is the bigger maniac in this photo, the surfer or the helicopter pilot? Keep in mind that the chopper is in the foreground and you get some idea of how big the waves can be here. It wasn’t that big but the waves were definitely the biggest I have been in so far on this trip. I would say double overhead on the sets, but I always get accused of hyperbole.
Maui is obviously aware that this is going to be my only session on the island so pulls out all the aces. Massive peeling waves, several turtles, a seal and a double rainbow are all provided so as not to be outdone by Oahu. The waves are very chunky and everyone in the water is lining up along the bottom of the cliffs where the wave breaks first, which is a bit keen for me on my first time in the water here. As usual there are rocks about but we are so far out to sea that I’m not too concerned about it.
After watching the waves roll through for a few sets I decide to go for it. Thrashing away to build up enough speed to get in front of one of these monsters I’m giving it everything I’ve got. As soon as the board starts to slip down the face I’m up straight away and tucking low to deal with the speed I build on the drop and the massive bottom turn I’m carving out to the right. Pumping the board to build up speed I’m charging down the line, all the while oh so conscious of the monster chasing me to the shore. I get out in front then stall to tease the wave it can catch me but then take another huge drop and am off again riding it all the way to the reef near the shore where I decide bailing off the back is my best option. Now that was a Hawaiian wave!! I’m almost sparking I’m so stoked and paddle back out for more.
I chat with a local guy called justin who is completely dialled in to this break and is shredding everything coming through. He is a really friendly guy, who tells me about this holiday villa he has built which I can stay in. I have a gift for sourcing Gucci surf residences, so when we chat in the car park later he gives me a few cards and am not surprised that his place looks like another gem. If only I had the time to take advantage of it. I can definitely recommend it to anybody else though. Check it out:

After a handful of monsters I get out because it is getting dark. I score some beers called ‘Big Wave’ that are brewed by the local Aloha brewery on the way back to the hostel and bounce my way through every conversation that evening because I am so happy. A good day.

Get up early and head for Haleiwa on my way to Honolulu. The peak is already crowded and the standard is high so I can see I am going to have to bring my ‘A’ game. It is head high and peeling beautifully.
I get straight out and keep finding quiet spots so I can catch one only to turn around a find myself in the middle of a mob each time a wave comes through. Thee are plenty of good surfers in the water and I am not getting a look in. I paddle out so I get a clear run at a few but am too far out to catch them, so paddle in only to find myself right in the impact zone and am then washed all the way in to the shore. I’m then stuck inside learning very quickly how to duck dive my new board under the waves but above the rocks until I eventually get through the peak. I’m dying to catch one because they are walling up and looking like a sweet ride in the sunshine.
The reality is that I can’t even get a look in and am being snaked by teenage girls (not a euphemism) who keep pinching every ride I line up.
I have to get to Honolulu to return the car so reluctantly paddle in catching a rubbish broken wave on the way in. I get up and do a few turns if only not to blank here, but even if it does complete my personal triple crown it is tad lacklustre and wholly unsatisfying.
Never mind there will be more waves on the horizon and I have already hit 10% of my objective for the year.

It has been raining all day and it is pretty grim on the North shore so I decide to head over to the drier west side of the island to catch a great sunset and hopefully get a wave. Everybody said it would be flat but I’m game to have a look anyway. Makaha was Oahu’s first big wave spot as surfers moved out of Honolulu after the local waves got destroyed or change by development of the coast in the middle of the last century. They were charging twenty footers here long before Greg Noll charged at Waimea or Gerry Lopez owned Pipeline. It is a break I have wanted to surf since hearing Bear talk about surfing twenty foot waves alone there in Big Wednesday, which is my favourite film of all time. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hFH3q5bz1Q) It was written and directed by avid surfer John Milius who also wrote the screenplay for Apocalypse Now which is the reason for surfing appearing in that film too. (“This is Charlie’s break sir.” “Charlie don’t surf son”)

Now thankfully it isn’t twenty feet but is about waist high, super clean, there is no wind, the sun is shining and I have the break to myself. I cant believe my luck. I paddle out and straight away notice the rocks which are everywhere, but don’t dwell too much on it because every beach is like that here. I catch loads of fun little rides at a break which is quite possible the prettiest place I have ever surfed watched by tourists sunbathing on the beach. There is a full rainbow over the beach as I look back and scenery beyond that is stunning too.

Eventually a yound local bodyboarder comes out and tells me I am going to surf into the reef. Salient advice because the as I paddle for the next wave the reef sucks dry and I am faced with a massice rock in front of me with nowhere to go. I try to grab my board and pull it back but only succeed in getting my hand trapped between the advancing board and the rock splitting open an inch long deep cut on the back of my hand. Owwwwwww!! It bleeds quite profusely so rather than sit there effectively chumming the water and attracting the men in grey suits I get out with blood dripping off my arm. However it looks worse than it is, and thankfully my sister armed me with a quality first aid kit so I can just tape it up without having to attempt DIY stitches.

Regardless I head back to the hostel fully stoked to have bagged this legendary break and I am little proud of the scar I will have to prove it. I get back to find our chalet is where to find the party this evening, which is a great way to end my time on the North Shore. Sad to have to say goodbye to so many friends already, particularly the girls who have been such great company:

The swell has dropped again this morning so head to one of the Sorth Shore’s most reliable spots after checking out Sunset and Ehukai. It is another long paddle out and Laniakea works from knee high to triple overhead, but was only chest high today. I bag a hat full of waves and am havng a great time until a mental Japanese surfer stacks his longboard next to me. His board flies up in to the air and lands on my head! Having caught enough waves and successfully recreated the attack on Pearl Harbour I decide to get out for lunch.